Why Couples Stop Having Sex

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Written By Monica

Hi, I'm Monica, a blogger passionate about offering practical tips on relationships, dating, and marriage. Join me as we explore the journey of love together!

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Why Couples Stop Having Sex: 15 Reasons

Too often, people in long-term relationships have less and less sex. Experts often say that women are to blame for the loss of libido after they get married. They focus on raising the children and don`t pay any attention to the man next to them.

Making money off of women’s lack of desire is a big business lately. There are “theories” in thousands of books about why women lose desire. At the same time, companies that make pills like Addy are “closing the gap” by making a pill for women that works like Viagra.

Why Couples Stop Having Sex

But can a pill really make a woman feel romantic? Trouble is, the women (and men) need to feel safe in order to explore their sexuality. The last thing they need is to feel bad about themselves because they said “Not tonight.” Being a person is hard because we feel and want different things at different times.

Being in a relationship is even more difficult because it requires two people to work with each other’s changing emotions, both together and on their own. I see resentful women with little sexual desire for their partners all too frequently. Typically married to resentful men who are angry with her for having no desire.

Why Couples Stop Having Sex

In order for a relationship to have sex frequently, neither partner should react negatively or angrily to the other’s “NO”.

Ironically, the partner who received a negative answer from their spouse must now positively respond to their partner.

Why Couples Stop Having Sex: How to Deal With it

Three Tips to Help the Rejected Not Feel “Rejected”

Why Couples Stop Having Sex

1. Don’t take the “NO” personally. Realize that if someone doesn’t want to get laid, it’s not all about you. Stress, work worries, health problems, and just being tired can take away our energy and feelings.

I suggest using an arousal scale for most partners. It lets them see that they can both want different things at the same time, but that doesn’t make the connection less passionate. It just means you can’t do it tonight.

Why Couples Stop Having Sex

2. Be Curious. If your partner makes you angry, annoyed, or resentful, try to figure out why. Why does it bother you so much that you were told no to sex? Love and sexuality have a lot of secret meanings.

In my early twenties, being rejected sexually meant I wasn’t good enough to be loved. Sex was a way for me to prove how good I was, not a way for us to show each other love and respect.

3. The Mirror of Reflection. If this rejection hurts you, think about what it says about you. Remember the good times you had together to help you deal with the pain of rejection. Remember that your partner isn’t trying to hurt you; they’re just letting you know how they feel.

Their actions have less to do with you than with them. Just like your actions and feelings have more to do with you than with your partner. Think about yourself and try to understand yourself better.

Why Couples Stop Having Sex

Why Couples Stop Having Sex

Even when things don`t turn out the way we would like, sex involves communication, comprehension, and respect. “Love” is giving your lover your undivided attention, whether intimately or otherwise.

In many romantic partnerships, getting close sexually is an important part. But it’s not unusual for a couple to go through times when they have less sex or none at all. Both internal and external factors can contribute to this change in closeness. Recognizing and dealing with these problems can help couples get back together and get their sexual relationship back on track.

15 Reasons Why Couples Stop Having Sex

#1. Physical Health Issues:

Why Couples Stop Having Sex

In certain situations, low libido and sexual dysfunction have a medical basis. Reduced sexual drive is a common side effect of chronic illness for patients.

Chronic diseases like diabetes or heart disease which affect how blood flows and how nerves work.  This could make it harder to get sexually aroused or make it uncomfortable. Medications for things like high blood pressure or sadness can also have side effects that lower libido or make it hard to be sexual.

#2. Mental Health Concerns:

Depression, for instance, can make a person feel useless or tired. Which can make them less interested in most things, including sex. Anxiety can make you feel tense and stop you from relaxing enough to get sexually aroused.

#3. Hormonal Changes:

Why Couples Stop Having Sex

Due to a drop in estrogen levels, menopause can cause dryness in the vaginal area and less desire. Men with low testosterone may feel less sexual drive and have other problems. Even pregnancy it`s self (in some women) can cause less sexual desire.

#4. Relationship Issues:

Physical closeness and emotional closeness often go hand in hand. Things like cheating, not trusting each other, or having frequent fights ruin sexual feelings. They can build emotional barriers between you and your partner that make it hard to be intimately close.

It’s possible that you and your lover made up after having an affair. However, there may still be a definite trust issue between you and your partner.  I mean, who wants to be vulnerable and intimate with someone they don’t “fully” trust?

#5. Anger and Conflicts:

Why Couples Stop Having Sex

Whether it’s about something minor or major, couples will certainly argue from time to time. But if you don’t talk about your problems and work through them, your resentment and anger will fester. And eventually, your marriage and your desire to be sexual with one another will suffer.

This conveys volumes without imprecision. It is uncommon for someone who is upset with her spouse to desire to have a sexual relationship. Couples must learn to let go of their anger, or it will seep into many aspects of their shared lives. This will probably take a serious toll on your sexual life.

#6. Aging:

Beyond hormonal changes, aging might bring about issues like arthritis, which can make certain sexual positions uncomfortable. Arthritis is a common condition that causes inflammation and pain in one or more joints in the body.

It’s not a single disease; rather, it refers to joint pain or joint disease of various types and severities. On top of causing pain, there might also be a general decrease in stamina.

#7. Fear of Performance:

Why Couples Stop Having Sex

Concerns about ejaculating too soon, not being able to get an erection, or not being able to orgasm. These reasons can make people nervous about sex, making it easier to avoid it altogether.

Furthermore, aging women tend to worry about dryness and pain during sex; this though might apply to any woman. Many have been reluctant to discuss it with their gynecologists because of embarrassment and shame.

#8. Sexual Trauma:

Those who have been sexually abused may think of physical closeness as scary or painful. They might not want to have sex or have trouble relaxing when they do.

#9. Childbirth and Parenting:

Why Couples Stop Having Sex

In addition to the hormonal shifts that occur after giving birth, new parents may also have body image issues. Experiencing difficulty to physically recover from childbirth and extreme fatigue.

I see this so often. One partner is permissive, and the other is more authoritative. The entire family gets stressed, and so does couple time.

Look, if you are arguing constantly about how best to raise little Timmy or Olivia, you are unlikely to indulge in the behavior that created them. What a shame, and how ironic.

#10. Routine and Boredom:

Like any other action, sex can lose its appeal when it gets too predictable or monotonous. As a couple gets to know each other better, they may try fewer new things and do fewer different things.

#11. Lack of Communication:

Why Couples Stop Having Sex

Couples who don’t communicate their needs and limits to one another may end up disappointed. Or avoiding one another because of misunderstandings. Seek the assistance of a couples counselor if you find it difficult to discuss the matter.

“The couple will learn how to listen and speak to one another in an intentional manner without reacting or taking comments or behavior personally,” says Tzall.

“When communication is poor between the couple, it is usually not for a lack of quantity as much as quality. This means that both partners are not hearing the emotional subtext, desires, and changes in their needs.”

#12. Distractions and Exhaustion

Why Couples Stop Having Sex

This is broad. Couples may spend less quality time together because they are always connected and hooked to their phones and devices. Sometimes working or otherwise, doesn’t matter. This digital interference can dilute private time.

Furthermore, you are all aware of exhaustion and how it impacts a person’s desire for sex. Sex tends to take a backseat when it comes to jobs, taking care of the family, and sometimes even aging parents. If you have no energy left, it could be difficult to think about sex. Later on, have it.

#13. Cultural or Religious Beliefs:

Some beliefs might limit sexual activities to specific goals. Like having children, or see certain behaviors as sinful. Which could make people feel bad or try to avoid them.

14. Feeling Uncontented With Your Body:

Why Couples Stop Having Sex

Fear of criticism may cause someone who is self-conscious about their appearance to avoid exposing themselves in intimate situations. For example, weight, scars, or physical features. It’s possible that your physique has changed over time and you hate how you look.

Maybe this is what comes with getting older, having kids, not exercising as much, eating too much, etc. It doesn’t matter why; most people who feel self-conscious about their appearance don’t want to spend time in the nude with someone who has seen them before. Correct?

But how would you know that this is the case with your marriage? Find out if your partner has recently said anything negative about how they look. Or about changes in their body.

Why Couples Stop Having Sex

Ask your partner how they feel, and try to figure out if this is true. Your sexual life and intimacy will slowly get back to normal if you are able to talk to each other. If they don’t want to talk, however, get help from a professional.

#15. Substance Abuse:

When used in moderation, alcohol can help people get along with each other. But when it’s used too much, it can stop sexual responses and arousal. Both legal and illegal drugs can also make it hard to get or stay sexually aroused.

Understanding these factors in depth can help couples address the root causes of their decreased sexual activity. Addressing the underlying issue—whether through medical intervention, counseling, or lifestyle changes—can help restore intimacy.

Why Couples Stop Having Sex

Conclusion: Why do couples stop having sex?

Because there are so many factors to take into account, sexual frequency can be a complicated topic at times.

It’s possible that you and your spouse have rigid routines and habits that leave you both fatigued every night. In these situations, you can arouse a partner’s sexual desire by surprising them and satisfying them more frequently.

For many reasons, communication is essential in a marriage. When a couple is happy together, their sexual pleasure is more evident. Thus, make an effort to resolve issues and avoid allowing bad emotions to fester. Seek therapy if you require assistance expressing your unpleasant emotions in your relationship without causing them harm.

There are also some health issues that can get in the way. Say you have a health problem or are taking certain drugs, and they make you feel bad. You could have trouble getting or keeping an erection after surgery. If you think this is true, talk to your doctor about it.

Remember that even in successful relationships, there might be undesired periods of sexual inactivity. So, don`t stress too much about it. Just try to do what you can.

Happy Sex Life!

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15 reason why couples stop having sex

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