When You’re Not in The Mood For Sex

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Written By Monica

Hi, I'm Monica, a blogger passionate about offering practical tips on relationships, dating, and marriage. Join me as we explore the journey of love together!

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Seductive Ways To Instantly Get You in The Mood for Sex

It’s a scenario many couples face. One partner is in urgent need of intimacy, while the other is not even ready to think about it.

It’s perfectly natural for sexual desire to go up and down in a relationship due to factors like stress, health issues, or simply the demands of daily life. So, what do you do when he wants to get laid but you’re not in the mood? Well, don`t panic!

Feeling differently about when to engage in sexual activity is common and I know it. That is why I am here with TEN (10) helpful tips.

When You're Not in The Mood For Sex

How frequently married couples have sex has been the subject of dozens, if not hundreds, of studies or surveys. They share a few of those poll results on marriage.com:

  • According to a survey by Newsweek, married couples engage in sexual activity 68.5 times annually on average. The magazine also discovered that married couples engage in 6.9 times more sex annually than single individuals.


  • According to a study from the University of Chicago titled “The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States,” about 32% of married couples engage in sex twice or three times per week, 80% of married couples have sex once a week or more, and 47% report having sex once or twice a month.

Now that you have a bigger picture, you know that you are not in it alone. Keep reading to find out how you can beat the rest.

When You're Not in the Mood for Sex

What to do When You’re Not in the Mood for Sex and He Is


1. Talk Sex

Yeah, talk about it and talk dirty! Open communication is the backbone of any strong relationship, especially when it comes to sex. When you talk “sex“, you will automatically start to think “sex“.

In most cases, women initially do not want to have sex. But they enjoy it even more when they get started. So, I guess what I am trying to say here is that your mind doesn`t want sex, but your body does.

And when you start talking about it, the mind slowly adjusts to thinking about it and eventually gives in. Allowing the body to explore its desires.

2. Understand Your Own Sexual Response

Everyone has a different sexual response. Some people can get horny on their own.  While others need a certain touch, an emotional connection, or a certain situation.

I don`t know your response. But if you know how you respond sexually, you can talk to your partner better about how you need to feel in the mood.

3. Make Time for Yourself

Sometimes you might not be in the mood because you’re busy, tired, or stressed. Self-care and taking time to relax are very important.

Some ways to get your energy and mood back are to read a book. Or take a warm bath, meditate, or just spend some time alone.

4. Non-Sexual Touch (When You’re Not in the Mood for Sex)

When You're Not in the Mood for Sex

Sexual intimacy is more than just making love. Touch that isn’t sexual can still lead to a deep emotional connection, like cuddling, holding hands, hugging, and so on.

Don`t be rigid! Sharing these close moments can fill the need for closeness even when sex isn’t an option.

5. Mutual Masturbation

If your partner needs to get sexually satisfied urgently, mutual masturbation can help.

This can be done by one or both partners, and it can still make you feel close and intimate without forcing you to act sexually when you’re not in the mood.

6. Explore Different Aspects of Intimacy

When You're Not in the Mood for Sex

Expand your understanding of intimacy beyond sexual activity. Emotional intimacy can be cultivated through deep conversations, shared experiences, or working towards common goals.

Such activities can foster connection and closeness, without the pressure of sex.

7. Seek Professional Advice

If you don’t feel sexually interested for a long time or if it’s causing some level of stress in your relationship, you might want to talk to seek professional advice.

Therapists and counselors can provide you with helpful strategies to deal with this issue. And a doctor can rule out any underlying health problems.

8. Consent is Key

Remember, consent is the most essential part of every sexual encounter. Even if you are in a committed relationship, you can say no if you don’t want to do something sexual.

Your partner should respect your choice and not put pressure on you or make you feel bad about it.

9. Promise Him

When You're Not in the Mood for Sex

There may be times when engaging in sexual activity doesn’t feel appealing. But provide an alternative rather than simply saying “NO” or “I’m too tired,” which feels like a rejection to your husband.

“I’m really tired right now, but if you’ll wait until I take a quick nap, I’d love to meet you under the covers,” you could say.

The alternative is to say, “Now isn’t great for me, but how about after the kids go to bed?” Maybe if you say that, he will not feel so unwanted and useless at that moment.

10. Just Do it!

Be honest for a moment. We recognize that our husbands want sex, even though we don’t want it sometimes. Stop depriving one another except by agreement, as the Bible commands.

One Corinthians 7:5. Do it anyway rather than “depriving” your spouse. The proverb “fake it until you make it” can be helpful in certain situations.

And frequently, even those with low sexual desire enjoy having sex once it begins. So what? Just do it! you have nothing to lose.

Conclusion: When You’re Not in the Mood for Sex

Experiencing different levels of sexual desire is a common issue that couples face every now and then. It’s essential to approach this with understanding, patience, and open communication.

Explore other ways to get close, take care of your health, and don’t be afraid to get help from a professional when you need it. Remember that it’s okay to say no, and that getting both people’s permission is important in every part of a relationship.

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When You're Not in The Mood For Sex

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